


i could see it on your face it was rough (you gotta let it all out)

by tidepodelf



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Blood, Edward Elric Needs a Hug, Female Edward Elric, Hurt Edward Elric, Hurt/Comfort, Not Slash, Panic Attack, Parental Roy, Torture, Trauma, Vomit, and bc i said so, because there isnt enough, idk if this is even accurate but I just wanted angst, idk why that one tag was there if you saw it, made ed a girl bc i am one and i kin him, no beta we die like roys sight, pls i just want parental roy hugs goddamnit, then congrats ur special
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28561461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tidepodelf/pseuds/tidepodelf
Summary: Eva Elric could only put it off for so long, they needed the report now.ORIt was time for Eva to relive her kidnapping and torture, and goddamnit she just needs a hug.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric, Edward Elric & Riza Hawkeye, Edward Elric & Roy Mustang
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	i could see it on your face it was rough (you gotta let it all out)

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey hey! so i dont know if this is even accurate to anything at all so pls take that with a grain of salt, i just wanted to write some sweet sweet angst hehe >:)
> 
> the parental roy tag will be what i hold in my cold dead hands. no one can come for parental roy

Her hands trembled as she sat in the rickety chair across from Havoc. Of course, she was glad it was him interviewing her, but it did little to calm the storm in her stomach threatening to make itself known. She knew it wouldn’t matter anyway, everyone in the East City District will probably read the report once it’s out, for malicious intent or not.

She shifted in her chair, unable to find a comfortable way to sit for the moments to come.

_Rough hands, pushing her down, and chains-_

Havoc cleared his throat, his face pulled taut. “Alright Chief, we can start whenever you’re ready.”

Eva nodded, a hum of confirmation for him to go ahead. She just needed to answer his damn questions and she could go.

“Okay, let’s start from the beginning. How'd he uh, find you.” 

“Well he didn’t exactly fine me, he was my damn therapist.” Eva looked down into her lap, biting out her words.

Havoc started writing, awkwardly gesturing for her to continue. Eva cleared her throat, suppressing a shudder at the thought of how naive she’d been, those kids, right underneath her, and she was just talking the damn killer's ear off. She didn’t even know.

“It was raining, and my ride was late. I- I was enjoying our talk, so I stayed for dinner.”

_Why did she stay why did she stay she shouldn’t have stayed-_

“He was getting desert, and-” Deep breath. C’mon, don’t be a wuss she chided to herself, “I needed to go to the bathroom, but I got curious.”

She looked up, and Havoc nodded, writing down the seemingly innocent info she’d provided so far. How sour it went, so fast.

“I found his study, and his sketchbook. I opened it.”

_A girl, hung upside down blood dripping down her face and body, a boy, hand smashed to bits and tears streaming down his face._

_Her._

_Her face, contorted in pain, anguish in her eyes, her everything._

_So accurate-_

Havoc gave a look of sympathy, pausing his writing. Eva still would not meet his eyes. “If you’re gonna pity me at least do it when I’m not here.” She bit out. 

“Right. Sorry.” Havoc turned the page, readying his pen again.

Eva twiddled with her thumbs, hesitating.

“Uh. I was trying to leave, I mean I knew I should get this info to someone,” Liar. She was scared shitless, “but he saw right through me, because why wouldn’t he. He stabbed me. Not much I could do after that.”

She finally looked up from his writing, “Where?”

“Sorry?”

Havoc shifted in his seat, “Where’d he stab you.”

“Oh.”

_A sharp pain, choking liquid draining into her, a slam._

“My throat. My shoulder.”

“And then when did you wake up?”

“Uh, once we were in the basement.”

A page flip, and then the part she dreaded the most.

“Now you just need to tell me everything that happened, right up until Roy saved you? Okay Chief?”

She sighed, running her automail hand through her hair. The nausea threatened to make itself known, but she shoved it down again. It can wait.

“He showed me the jars. I threw up.” 

_An eye, a hand, all floating in those jars._

_She’d be next-_

“He uh, he took a scalpel, and cut.”

God if the nausea didn’t cut it out already-

“Where?”

“Anywhere he wanted. My sternum, my shoulder, my port, my thigh. He just- he wanted to see the blood I guess.”

Her shoulder ached at the memory, the cold metal dragging itself into her skin, his manic eyes sparkling with delight at her cry of pain. In and out, over and over that harsh metal marred her skin. 

“He- he stuck his thumb into my mouth. I didn’t like that, so I bit him.” She let out a hollow laugh. It was worth it, even with what came next.

“And then?”

“The water. And the hammer.”

“Oh god-” Havoc said under his breath, and Eva just ignored it. She was so close to done. She just had to finish this.

“He’d almost drown me, and when I hadn't passed out yet, he’d hit me with the hammer, on my hand first, then my foot, then my chest.” 

_Water filling her lungs, black dots dancing in her vision._

_“You’re a monster Eva. You deserve this, remember what you did to your brother? Your mom?”_

_He smiled._

_“You’re vile.”_

Her breath was starting to come up short. Havoc’s face wasn’t helping. 

“Then I passed out, and just before he was going to continue, Roy came.”

Havoc’s pen stopped, and he stood up. She stood up after him, coming up to shaky legs. Her stomach was rolling.

“You’re good to go chief.”

She nodded and left the room, opening it to see Roy, Riza and Al all waiting for her. Their faces all held three emotions. Worry, regret and guilt. 

Like it was even their faults. She should’ve known.

Getting out of that room, her hold on her emotions began to loosen around the people she loved, and her mind became fogged.

“Fullmetal.”

She looked Roy in the eyes, “Huh?”

“You good?”

She could feel it,

_His hot breath on her neck, his vice like grip over her shoulder and that look in his eyes._

The nausea she worked so hard to push down would not relent any longer, and she pushed past the three in a panicked stupor to go into the unisex bathroom. She had just enough time to shut the door behind her and run to the toilet before her breakfast from this morning came up.

Her breaths came in short gasps, eyes stinging with tears that refused to fall. She could feel him everywhere, he never left her, why. Why did she think she could place her trust like that in someone.

\----

Roy was startled as Eva pushed past him, holding her hand over her mouth. She rushed into the bathroom, door clicking shut. He waited a moment, before telling the Lieutenant and Alphonse to go wait in his office.

He had a feeling this was something their presence would not help for.

He put his ear against the door, trying to listen for any noise the young girl might be creating. There was a heavy silence.

Roy knocked on the door, startling Eva. She whimpered, her stomach giving another push, and she was leaning over the toilet again, this time her stomach already empty. She put her head on the cold porcelain of the toilet, trying not to think about how it was almost as cold as that scalpel, and how the air definitely did not stink like the acidity of the basement she spent that night in.

Roy knocked again, softer this time after hearing the sound of Eva vomiting.

“Fullmetal?”

Silence.

“I’m coming in okay? It’s just me, it’s Roy.”

_“It’s okay. He’s dead now.”_

Roy looked around to check no one was there before opening the door, looking down to see Eva shaking, slumped over the toilet, trying but failing to take some deep breaths.

He rushed over to her side after clicking and locking the door shut, trying to pretend he didn’t hear her whimper as she clutched the toilet again, her knuckles turning white.

His hands hovered over her, “Are you okay if I touch you?”

Her head shook.

“Okay. Do you want me to stay?”

Her grip on the toilet loosed, and she gave a nod of her head. He sat down beside her hunched over body.

“Do you want me to talk?”

Eva gave a grunt. He’d take that as a yes.

Roy began telling a story of the one time Riza fell into a pond on a mission, watching as Eva was slowly able to take bigger breaths, but she was still taut as a wire. 

Eva looked up from the toilet bowl once the story finished, giving a grim smile his way. Roy looked at her sadly.

“Ugh. Don’t look at me like that Colonel,” she took a breath, wiping the spit from her mouth, leaning her cheek back onto the toilet seat with a huff.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Roy gave a hum, and she knew she could never convince him. He wouldn’t have known. He just wanted to help.

Roy adjusted against the wall moving over to give Eva some room.

“C’mon, the toilet probably isn’t that comfy.”

Eva gave a little laugh, moving roughly to sit against the Colonel, resting her head against his shoulder.

“You just haven’t tried it yet, the cold is nice.”

Roy chuckled, and wrapped his arm around her small frame, pulling her closer to him. She relaxed in his hold, her shaking dying down a bit.

Her head wouldn’t stop pounding though, and she gave a little whine from the noise created on her trip into his arms. He gave a soft shh, pulling the hair elastic out of her hair to let it down, releasing some of the tension. He ran his fingers through her hair, just like he used to for his sisters.

Her body finally relaxed, mind knowing that this wasn’t the man who hurt her, who made her wake up every week with sweat stained sheets, rushing to the bathroom to be sick, before laying in her bed trying to quiet her cries so she wouldn't alarm Al. 

This was Roy. This was the only person at this point who even knew everything, he saved her. Tears began to roll down her cheeks, an unwelcome sob broke out of her chest, and Roy gave her frame a little squeeze.

“It’s okay Eva, I got you.”

_“You’re fine, shhhh, I got you, just let me get these chains off Eva”_

She gripped his shirt, tears staining his blue uniform as she shook with sobs, like a dam broke loose and he was her only grip on the riverbank. He ran a hand up and down her back, whispering to her softly.

Finally, her last energy was spent, and she let her vice like grip on his shirt go. Now that she was fully grounded, the tile of the bathroom became uncomfortable, and Roy, somehow sensing this, pushed her out of his hold a little bit to look at her.

“Okay. Think you can get up?”

Eva nodded, and leaned on Roy as she stood up, walking out of the bathroom, her following along in an exhausted stupor as he led her to his office.

He brought her down onto the couch, leaving for a moment to grab a ratty old blanket his team would sometimes like to use to lay down for a quick nap, placing it overtop of her body. He brushed the bangs out of her face.

“You can stay here as long as you need. Try to rest, you’ve had a long day already.”

She blinked, trying to stay awake, “But what about my paperwork?”

Roy laughed and stood up, “I’ll handle it Fullmetal, just rest.”

She paused for a moment, as if thinking it over, and finally relented, curling up on the couch with a sigh. He turned to leave.

“Oh and Eva?”

“Hmm?”

“Anytime this bothers you, you can come to me. Okay?”

“Okay.” Came a muffled reply, before sleep overtook Eva and Roy went to inform Al and Riza that Eva is okay.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! please leave a kudos or a comment <3 its greatly appreciated
> 
> this work is inspired by Human Behavior, just in the whole "therapist kidnaps already traumatized child and uses it against her" as well as the journal/sketchbook she sees, so the link will be below
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/28155528/chapters/68989488


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